For us lovers of cats – and that’s probably the vast majority of people reading this – the problem is serious, and it’s definitely real. Most people don’t understand what it’s like and most people don’t actually care.
But a kitten soon becomes part of our family when it lives with us and for that new member of the family to take a dislike to us, well, it hurts!
This is a problem that can be fixed though. There are some pretty simple things you can try and if you do these and if you’re persistent, I guarantee they will work. But before we get into the nuts and bolts, it’s important to understand a few things first.
When will my kitten love me again? Your kitten will start loving you again within a few days if you perform the steps described below. They’re not difficult and you may feel a bit silly – but results are guaranteed!
Don’t take it personally
Your kitten doesn’t know you. Not properly. If it did it wouldn’t be acting this way, right? If it knew you it would give you unconditional love 24/7.
But, your kitten is still developing, both physically and mentally. Their eyesight is improving week-on-week and it may not as yet be accustomed to the different smells in their new home.
Alternatively, you may have had your kitten for a while and at first, everything was okay but then, something changed. Like something inside them had been triggered and now they regard you differently.
Whatever the situation, you want it to change and you shouldn’t take it personally. Easier said than done, especially if this little kitten has taken a shine for someone else in your family and seems to direct their love and affection towards someone else! It’s not fair!
It’ll be okay though – know this. You won’t even remember feeling like this in a surprisingly short amount of time. Try not to take it personally, they certainly don’t mean it that way.
Your kitten not loving you will be temporary
As briefly mentioned above, this situation is transitory. It’s just a phase your kitten is going through and absolutely, categorically, undoubtedly will not last forever.
Your kitten is still finding its way and learning what sounds, sights and smells it finds acceptable and what makes them anxious. There may be an element of association related to their behavior around you.
I have had something like this happen to me. Every morning I would have a shower and afterward put on some deodorant and after-shave.
Cats, as you know, are more sensitive to smell than we are and different cats can find some smells more repellant than others. For most, they will have a reaction around citrus. For me though, it was primarily my aftershave.
Every time he set eyes on me he would scrunch his nose up, back off and sometimes even run off! He had associated my presence with a smell it really didn’t like.
Perhaps one day when I was putting some on I got some directly on them – and the damage was done.
For me the fix was two-stage, first – I had to stop wearing aftershave. Second, I spent more time around them. Initially, from a distance but over a few days I interacted closer and closer.
Then, all of a sudden it was no longer an issue. Over time I was able to use after-shave again and he didn’t mind (unless I put too much on!)
This is just one example, there are many other scenarios – but all are fixable, as you’ll find out below.
Don’t worry about why your kitten doesn’t love you
As you’ve learned from the above, there could be many reasons why your kitten is acting the way they do. Forget about trying to find the underlying reason. You may find out eventually or you may not. It’s actually irrelevant at this point.
The only thing you need to focus on is getting your kitten to love you again – which will happen sooner than you think!
If your kitten doesn’t love you – do this
So, let’s get to the bit you’re really interested in. How can you get your kitten to start loving you again? Step through the below. Some may not be relevant as you do it already – that’s fine. I bet you don’t do all of them though.
I’ve lived with all types of cats for many decades and I can assure you that if you really apply the below and integrate it into your life, before you know if you’ll have your kitten back on-side.
Remain calm around your kitten
Don’t let emotion get in the way. Above everything else on this list, you must remain calm. Cats, and especially kittens can be very sensitive to unexpected movements and sounds.
Much depends on their socialization, which is the all-important first 12-weeks of their life when they should have as many interactions with as many different things as possible.
These interactions should include other pets (such as dogs), other people (particularly children) and other daily-activities which create noise.
Put simply, the more exposure the kitten can have during these first few weeks of its life, the better it will handle the unexpected throughout its life.
So, it could be that your kitten didn’t have the best of socialization periods, or perhaps it didn’t have one at all. Although this can make things harder, it doesn’t make it impossible.
You will notice though that a kitten that hasn’t been socialized will be more susceptible to the unexpected events that can occur on a daily basis in a household than one that has had a good one.
It’s not just you that needs to remain calm though – it’s your whole family. Particularly children. If you do have kids then just ask them if they could possibly not run around screaming near your kitten.
It will help. We’re not asking kids to not be kids here (as there’s nothing wrong with kids running around making noise) – but just take it easy when your kitten is nearby!
Don’t stare at your kitten
You may have noticed that when two cats are facing off against each other (usually outside) they will stare at each others eyes, until finally one of them backs off.
Staring at a cat, or in this case, a kitten can be intimidating to a feline. If you stare at your kitten it may think that you are a threat and associate this feeling with you when it sees you next. This is easily fixed, just follow these steps:
- When your cat sets eyes on you, perform a very slow, deliberate blink. Make it as slow as you like and when you open your eyes again, slowly avert your vision to something else. You will notice that they stare at you intently whilst you do this, fascinated. This is a clear indication to them that you consider them as not a threat, so likewise they should not consider you as one.
- After you’ve done this a couple of times, yawn. See, I bet you’re doing it right now! Again, yawning is a sign to your kitten that you don’t consider them as a threat – they like this.
- Repeat from the first point.
Honestly, the above is like a superpower around kittens and cats. You may not have to go any further than just this to get your kitten back on-side. You may find that just doing it once, for a short period of time has the desired effect. If it doesn’t – just keep on doing it.
This should become eventually natural for you. I still do this with all our cats (we currently have four Maine Coons) and I’m sure I have a better relationship with them because of it.
Playing with your kitten will make them love you
Interact with them as much as you can. Don’t run up to them when you want to play (make sure your kids know this also) – but if they are in the mood to play, engage.
Don’t make any sudden movements and don’t make too much noise. Just spend time with them, quite close – so they become comfortable in your company.
Remember, this isn’t good just for your kitten – playing with your kitten reduces your stress levels, so win-win!
Your kitten will forgive you if you feed them
Try and ensure you are the one to feed them. Kittens can get through a lot of food and will need feeding several times a day. Make sure you’re the one doing it!
Think about it from their perspective, a threat isn’t going to provide them with food, right? Of course not and eventually it will associate you with this – and that’s a good thing.
An advanced move…
Right, here we go. We all sing to our cats and kittens. You can deny it if you like but we all know it’s true. Now we need to step it up a level.
Cats, when they feel relaxed in someone’s presence they will become (almost) submissive. You may have noticed that sometimes cats will roll onto their backs when you enter a room where they already are.
If they do this it’s a great sign that they feel comfortable in your presence.
You’re going to do just that – and you may be surprised by the results. When you’re in the same room as your cat, get down to their level.
Then, roll onto your back and put your hands and legs in the air a little (like they do). Combine this with blinking at them and yawning.
You’ll notice that they won’t be able to look away, they will be fascinated with that you’re doing. Your other-half may be fascinated too!
Don’t discount this just because you might feel stupid, it works. A errr friend told me.
Conclusion – when will your kitten love you again?
Don’t worry. You’ve got this – your kitten will love you again. Actually, what you should do is try these out now. You may even fix this in the next half hour if you’re lucky!
It may, of course, take a bit longer than this though. However, I guarantee you that if you persevere with the above steps you will see positive results.
Depending on the kitten, it may take half an hour or it may take a few days. Then you’ll start incorporating them into your typical day!
Anyway, if you’d like to make the perfect home for your kitten, check out the article!