The 10 Cat Commandments

Cat has written humans the Ten Feline Commandments to serve as the principles of impeccable cat care for the cat-owning race to adhere to. The Ten Commandments of Cat are the foundation of the moral code and legal system of justice for all cat owners. Break these rules at your peril.

The 10 Commandments For Cat Owners

Here’s what your cat has to say.

1. I am the Lord, thy Cat, and thou shalt love no other Cat but me

This is the most important of all the Cat Commandments. Take particular note of the message, “You shall have no other Cat but me.”

Many a cat owner reads far too little into these words. As your cat, I love to be the center of your attention and your house is my territory. If you try to bring another cat into the fold, all hell will be let loose. Do this very carefully. Make sure you follow a gradual introduction plan if you ever bring another cat home so I can get used to the idea. Get it wrong, and you may never know peace and harmony again. I’ve found an article to help you here (these methods can be applied to any breed apparently).

2. Thou shalt not worship anything else but me

If you act like the dog is as worthy as me, I will not tolerate it. I’m a far superior creature. I rule the dog as well as you and you should both worship me only. I will tolerate the dog, I may eve schmooze with it from time to time but you must only schmooze with me.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy Cat in vain

Never curse me, even if I do wake you in the middle of the night. I do this for several reasons. Sometimes I just can’t sleep because I slept all day. I get bored and lonely and fancy a play session. Sometimes I forget its night time and you have to get up early for work. I’m not trying to annoy you, so don’t get cross at me. Perhaps if you give me a bit more attention and wear me out before you retire for the night, I will stop this habit.

4. Saturday is Caturday and Sunday is Funday

If you work all week you should devote your weekend to me. We should have a lie-in together, play for hours, curl up on the couch and watch my favorite film – perhaps ‘A Cat in Paris’ or’ The Aristocats’. Whatever you do don’t go out all weekend and leave me alone – you did that all week. I need quality time with you or I’ll get depressed and may misbehave to get your attention.

5. Thou art my parent so treat me as thou would thy child

I’m not ‘just a cat’. You chose to bring me into your life so treat me with loving care as you would a human child. I have feelings, I feel pain and I’m reliant upon you to provide for my every need. Feed me well, give me fresh water, look after my health, change my litter box regularly, consider my feelings in everything you do.

6. Thou shalt not be a killjoy!

I love to play and if you cut my play sessions short before I’ve decided I’ve had enough, you will leave me feeling unfulfilled and confused. Make sure you play with me for at least 15 minutes every day to keep me mentally stimulated, keep me fit and stop me from piling on the pounds.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery!

If you fraternize with another cat elsewhere, I will know, mark my words. I will be able to smell the other cat’s pheromones upon you and you can expect to get the cold shoulder until you remove every single trace. You shouldn’t be out meeting other cats while I’m waiting patiently for you at home.

8. Thou shalt not steal from me

If I go hunting, remember this is a natural cat activity. If you take away the spoils of my hunting, I won’t be happy. And don’t get cross when I bring you a ‘gift’ as I caught it just for you, in an attempt to impress you. Try to act grateful and impressed and then at least wait until I’m not looking before you dispose of your ‘present’.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against me

If you didn’t see me do it then don’t assume it was me! It’s easy to blame a cat for a whole variety of things. A snag on your favorite jumper? Blame the cat! A scratch on the dining table? Must have been the cat! A bite missing from the roast chicken? It’s got to have been the cat! You hurt my feelings when you falsely accuse me. I’m an angel and would never do those things.

10. Thou shalt not lust after thy neighbor’s cat

If the neighbor gets a fancy new cat, you should not eye it up jealously. And stroking it through the fence is simply unacceptable. Don’t encourage it to feel welcome. Before you know it, it will be in my garden, applying its scent to my territory and even daring to instigate a fight with me.

Conclusion

You should follow these 10 commandments to ensure you and your cat live in perfect harmony.