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Why do cats like me so much?

It’s easy to perceive that cats favor a particular person: some people do seem to be cat magnets! If you’re one of these people, you may wonder why cats appear to like you more than others. The fact is, cats choose their favorite human based on simple criteria, criteria that you just happen to meet!

A cat’s favorite person is the one they trust the most. If your cat likes you much more than others in your home, this might be because you are calm, stick to a routine, or lavish the most attention on it. Beware! Cats are prone to changing allegiance, but there are ways to remain your cat’s best friend.

A ginger and white cat being held up in front of a lady's face.

How to become a cat’s favorite person

If cat’s like you so much, you probably naturally behave in a way that makes them trust you without even realizing it. But cats are fickle and things can change just like that.

In case you are blissfully unaware of the reasons behind your magic powers over cats, here are my top 7 tips to ensure cats like you as much as possible:

1) Don’t stare at them

A cat does not like to be stared at. If you observe two cats that are about to fight, they fix their eyes on each other without blinking.

One of them may eventually decide this fight isn’t for them and turn their head away, breaking eye contact.

When a cat notices a big creature (like you) looking down at it and staring into its eyes, it may perceive you as a threat and will not feel relaxed around you. Therefore, you should avoid staring directly int a cat’s eyes.

A black tortoiseshell Maine Coon licking her lips and staring straight ahead.

2a) Blink Slowly

Staring at a cat is not a good idea. One way to ensure you never do is to blink when you’re looking at them. Not just a normal blink though, you have to make it obvious what you’re doing.

So, when you’re looking at them, slowly shut both of your eyes before slowly opening them and as you do, look away briefly before looking at them again.

This will tell them that you do not perceive them as a threat and you feel relaxed in their presence. This, in turn, will make them feel more relaxed also.

2b) Perform a long yawn

When two cats square up to each other, you might notice one of them yawn. When a cat does this, it is a sign it feels comfortable and relaxed.

If you yawn at your cat, it will perceive you are not a threat and will feel relaxed in your company.

A cat yawning and performing a cat stretch.
I bet this picture makes you want to yawn…

So, after you blink slowly (see above), yawn. Make it a big one and make it obvious but don’t make a weird noise like some people do when they yawn! You will notice that whilst you’re doing this the cat won’t be able to take its eyes off you.

3) Get down to their level

Imagine how big we must look to your little furry cat. It’s going to be intimidating, right?

Whereas with dogs they need to know that someone is in charge, it’s not the case with cats. You should get down to their level, make yourself look smaller than you actually are.

You’re going to look (and feel) quite stupid doing this but hear me out. Have you noticed that when you walk into a room sometimes where a friendly cat is, it will roll onto its back?

This isn’t a sign that they want you to tickle their tummies! Don’t do this, it won’t end well.

When a cat rolls onto its back it is a sign that they trust you and feel comfortable in your presence.

A red tabby Maine Coon in front of a fire, on it back, exposing its belly

This is the bit where you are going to feel stupid. When you’re close to them, get onto the floor and roll onto your back with your arms in the air a little in the same way that they would do it.

You will notice them looking at you intently. This may be because they are wondering what on Earth you are doing (your family may wonder also) but also they are looking because they find it comforting.

It is a sure sign that you are saying to them you perceive them as no threat and they should feel relaxed in your company.

4) Play with them

Arguably one of the best ways to bond with a cat is to spend time with them and the best way to do this is to play with them. Get yourself a favorite toy (we like this from Amazon) but use whatever you like. Then, just interact with them.

A word of caution though, don’t use your hands to play with them! When I was a kid I used to go into school with scratches all over my hands – the other kids wondered what I did when I was at home!

Cats don’t understand the difference between your hands and toys so when you wriggle your hand around on the floor as far as they are concerned it’s a little wriggly worm that needs to be ‘got’!

5) Don’t make sudden movements or noises

A lot depends on how well they’ve been socialized during those all-important first 12-weeks but generally speaking, cats do not like any sudden movements or noises.

We’ve all experienced them sitting comfortably on our laps when someone makes a noise or does something unexpected. All claws extend into our legs and they prepare themselves for whatever it is that is happening next.

This point is actually a reason why cats find it more difficult to bond with children than they do with adults (see my point on this below).

6) Do everything slowly

Cats like predictability – they do not like someone charging around the house. So, when you’re around a cat, especially a nervous one – just put yourself on slow-motion for a bit.

When you’re getting up, do it slowly. When you’re walking, just do it calmly.

A shorthair tabby cat curled up asleep.

Even little things like moving your head quickly can cause a moment of panic in a nervous cat, so just think about what you’re doing and take your time about things. What you’re doing won’t go unnoticed!

7) Talk to your cat

Occasionally, when your cat enters a room where you are – they will meow. This is a greeting and you may be surprised that it is reserved only for us humans – they don’t do it for other cats.

Talk to them back. Use gentle, relaxed language to speak to them when you see them. What will most likely happen when you do this is that you will notice that their tail will rise – a sure sign that they’re happy to see you.

What do cats want from us?

A cat wants predictability from us. They want someone that they can feel comfortable with. Ideally, the person will have the following qualities:

  • Calm & relaxed- someone who is in control of their emotions and doesn’t feel the urge to suddenly jump off their chair and do something unpredictable.
  • An understanding of cats – the ideal person needs to know what cats do and don’t like and be respectful of their emotions.
  • Someone who doesn’t mind looking stupid – the ideal candidate will get down to their level, get on their back looking just a little bit silly and they’ll do it all just to please the cat.
  • Makes time – a cat wants someone who will spend time with them and not go out to work all day. I know that’s a bit tricky since we all have bills to pay but the more time you can spend with your cat, the better.
  • Isn’t too grown-up – life is too short to be serious all the time. You need to cling on to your childhood roots and spend some time playing with your feline friend.

Of course, there are some things I haven’t mentioned here, the more obvious ones – like food. The whole family should get involved here but one way to bond more with a cat is to be the one that supplies their food every day.

What do cats not want from us?

Well, this is an easy one. I see a common theme with the people that don’t bond with cats, let me give you some examples of what that person would look like:

  • They aren’t ‘bothered’ about cats. I don’t understand why this would be but some people just don’t seem to care or pay any notice to our feline friends. Therefore, they don’t even try.
  • They can’t be calm – we all know people like this. They just don’t have it in them to relax, it’s not their fault just the way they were designed – we’re all different after all. However, these people will have a difficult time bonding with a cat.
  • They are clumsy – some people have a habit of making noises and banging into things unintentionally. Well, cats don’t care whether it’s unintentional or not – they don’t like it.
  • They appear aggressive – they most likely won’t be doing this on purpose but if someone looks down on a cat and stares then you can imagine how scary that could be for them.

After a while, it doesn’t take that much time to separate the people that you know will get on with cats and those that won’t. It’s easy to spot someone with the right qualities with a bit of experience.

A white cat walking pas t a child on a lawn.

Why cats don’t always bond with children

Children are generally unpredictable. This is a major problem for a cat – they don’t like pretty much everything that you would typically associate with a child.

Children like to run, move around quickly and make a lot of noise. This, of course, is completely fine and actually encouraged – it’s what kids do. However, a certain amount of education is encouraged when it comes to introducing a cat into a home where there are children. Or should that be introducing a child into a home where there are cats? 🙂

All they need to do is ensure that when there are cats nearby, they just tone things down just a little. Try not to shout or scream and try not to run around too close to them. It’s a tricky one this but it is possible to find a compromise.

Can cats sense if you’re a good person?

Though it is unlikely that cats think in terms of good and bad, they do seem to be able to tell if a person does or doesn’t like them.

A cat is sensitive to human behavior and will avoid someone who contantly mistreats them. But equally, a cat soon forgets small incidents.

For example, if you accidentally tread on your cat’s paw, it may run aay from you and avoid you for a few hours. But it won’t hold a grudge and will soon be hanging around you again, particularly when hunger kicks in.

However, if you’ve ever noticed a cat gravitate towards a non-cat person, this can be because that person is avoiding making eye contact with the cat and o it doesn’t feel threatened by them.

Can cats sense kindness?

To a cat, kindness includes acts such as feeding it, playing with it, petting it, talking soothingly to it, and letting in from the garden.

A cat will sense the person who exhibits the most kindness to it and will learn to go to that person more than others.

Why do cats like me so much? Conclusion

Cats are quite practical creatures: their aim is to survive. To this end, they will gravitate towards the person who looks after them well whilst making them feel relaxed and secure.

If cats like you so much, it is most likely because you are the type of person who naturally exhibits this type of behavior.

If you tick all their boxes then you will appear to have access to that special power! The one where cats always seem to like you!

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