It’s almost as if you have a special power. You feel connected to them in a way that other people aren’t. You instinctively know what to do and what reaction you will get. Cats always seem to like you – maybe not as much as you like them but they do generally feel comfortable in your presence. Why is this? Why do cats seem to be more relaxed around you? Well, let me explain as actually – it’s pretty simple.
Why do cats always like me? Cats like you as your personality makes them feel comfortable when in their company. You are most likely someone who is relaxed, quite quiet, and is prepared to go that extra length to make them happy.
The ideal human for a cat
There are a number of requirements a cat has for us humans if we are to get along well, they are:
1) Don’t stare at them
A cat does not like to be stared at. If you observe two cats that are about to fight they will fix their eyes on each other without blinking. One of them may eventually decide this fight isn’t for them and they will turn their head away, breaking eye contact.
Therefore, when they see a big animal (err you) looking down on them staring, it may be perceived as a threat and definitely won’t go towards making them feel relaxed with you. First impressions can matter and they may associate the feeling they had initially when they see you again. Ensure you do things right the first time.
2a) Blink Slowly…
Following on from the above, you know that staring at a cat is not a good idea. So, ensure you blink when you’re looking at them. Not just a normal blink though, you have to make it obvious what you’re doing.
So, when you’re looking at them, slowly shut both of your eyes before slowly opening them and as you do, look away briefly before looking at them again. This will tell them that you do not perceive them as a threat and you feel relaxed in their presence. This, in turn, will make them feel more relaxed also.
2b) …followed by a yawn
When two cats are squared up at each other, you never see one of them yawn. When a cat does this it is a sign of feeling comfortable and relaxed and they will perceive the same when you do it.
So, after you blink slowly (see above), yawn. Make it a big one and make it obvious but don’t make a weird noise like some people do when they yawn! You will notice that whilst you’re doing this the cat won’t be able to take its eyes off you.
3) Get down to their level
Imagine how big we must look to your little furry cat. It’s going to be intimidating, right? Whereas with dogs they need to know that someone is in charge, it’s not the case with cats. You should get down to their level, make yourself look smaller than you actually are.
You’re going to look (and feel) quite stupid doing this but hear me out. Have you noticed that when you walk into a room sometimes where a friendly cat is, it will roll onto its back? This isn’t a sign that they want you to tickle their tummies! Don’t do this, it won’t end well.
When a cat rolls onto its back it is a sign that they trust you and feel comfortable in your presence. I wrote an article as to why Maine Coons do this which you can find if you click on the link (opens in a new window) – do take a look as you may find it rather interesting and is actually relevant to all cats.
This is the bit where you are going to feel stupid. When you’re close to them, get onto the floor and roll onto your back with your arms in the air a little in the same way that they would do it.
You will notice them looking at you intently. This may be because they are wondering what on Earth you are doing (your family may wonder also) but also they are looking because they find it comforting. It is a sure sign that you are saying to them you perceive them as no threat and they should feel relaxed in your company.
4) Play with them
Arguably one of the best ways to bond with a cat is to spend time with them and the best way to do this is to play with them. Get yourself a favorite toy (we like this from Amazon) but use whatever you like. Then, just interact with them.
A word of caution though, don’t use your hands to play with them! When I was a kid I used to go into school with scratches all over my hands – the other kids wondered what I did when I was at home!
Cats don’t understand the difference between your hands and toys so when you wriggle your hand around on the floor as far as they are concerned it’s a little wriggly worm that needs to be ‘got’!
5) Don’t make sudden movements or noises
A lot depends on how well they’ve been socialized during those all-important first 12-weeks but generally speaking, cats do not like any sudden movements or noises.
We’ve all experienced them sitting comfortably on our laps when someone makes a noise or does something unexpected. All claws extend into our legs and they prepare themselves for whatever it is that is happening next.
This point is actually a reason why cats find it more difficult to bond with children than they do with adults (see my point on this below).
6) Do everything slowly
Cats like predictability – they do not like someone charging around the house. So, when you’re around a cat, especially a nervous one – just put yourself on slow-motion for a bit. When you’re getting up, do it slowly. When you’re walking, just do it calmly.
Even little things like moving your head quickly can cause a moment of panic in a nervous cat, so just think about what you’re doing and take your time about things. What you’re doing won’t go un-noticed!
7) Talk to your cat
Occasionally, when your cat enters a room where you are – they will meow. This is a greeting and you may be surprised that it is reserved only for us humans – they don’t do it for other cats.
Talk to them back. Use gentle, relaxed language to speak to them when you see them. What will most likely happen when you do this is that you will notice that their tail will rise – a sure sign that they’re happy to see you.
What does a cat want from us?
A cat wants predictability from us. They want someone that they can feel comfortable with. Ideally, the person will have the following qualities:
- Calm & relaxed- someone who is in control of their emotions and doesn’t feel the urge to suddenly jump off their chair and do something unpredictable.
- An understanding of cats – the ideal person needs to know what cats do and don’t like and be respectful of their emotions.
- Someone who doesn’t mind looking stupid – the ideal candidate will get down to their level, get on their back looking just a little bit silly and they’ll do it all just to please the cat.
- Makes time – a cat wants someone who will spend time with them and not go out to work all day. I know that’s a bit tricky since we all have bills to pay but the more time you can spend with your cat, the better.
- Isn’t too grown-up – life is too short to be serious all the time. You need to cling on to your childhood roots and spend some time playing with your feline friend.
Of course, there are some things I haven’t mentioned here, the more obvious ones – like food. The whole family should get involved here but one way to bond more with a cat is to be the one that supplies their food every day.
What does a cat not want from us?
Well, this is an easy one. I see a common theme with the people that don’t bond with cats, let me give you some examples of what that person would look like:
- They aren’t ‘bothered’ about cats. I don’t understand why this would be but some people just don’t seem to care or pay any notice to our feline friends. Therefore, they don’t even try.
- They can’t be calm – we all know people like this. They just don’t have it in them to relax, it’s not their fault just the way they were designed – we’re all different after all. However, these people will have a difficult time bonding with a cat.
- They are clumsy – some people have a habit of making noises and banging into things unintentionally. Well, cats don’t care whether it’s unintentional or not – they don’t like it.
- They appear aggressive – they most likely won’t be doing this on purpose but if someone looks down on a cat and stares then you can imagine how scary that could be for them.
After a while, it doesn’t take that much time to separate the people that you know will get on with cats and those that won’t. It’s easy to spot someone with the right qualities with a bit of experience.
Why cats don’t always bond with children
Children are generally unpredictable. This is a major problem for a cat – they don’t like pretty much everything that you would typically associate with a child.
Children like to run, move around quickly and make a lot of noise. This, of course, is completely fine and actually encouraged – it’s what kids do. However, a certain amount of education is encouraged when it comes to introducing a cat into a home where there are children. Or should that be introducing a child into a home where there are cats? 🙂
All they need to do is ensure that when there are cats nearby, they just tone things down just a little. Try not to shout or scream and try not to run around too close to them. It’s a tricky one this but it is possible to find a compromise.
Conclusion – why do cats always like me?
It’s not so much that cats like me but more that they like the personality traits that I possess. It’s actually very easy to get along with cats in the short-term but in the long-term, they will figure you out. You can’t act differently all your life – which is fine, nor should you.
However, cats like the type of person that has the behavior described above – if you tick these boxes then you will also have access to that special power!